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The Q-bicle--Are You Stuck in a Cubicle? Are You Killing Yourself On The Job? (www.theqbicle.com)
Thursday, January 22, 2009
THE CHRONICLES OF ARTY BOTCH (Journal Entry Jan 22)
Mood:  caffeinatedTopic: Arty Botch Entries
Corporate life is hard. I work more hours and drive a vehicle with less fuel. And that’s if I even remember to grab gas at all.
P.S. I can’t remember the last time I held a pay stub that remotely seemed lucrative!
Copyright 2009 The Q-bicle. All rights reserved. www.theqbicle.com
Posted by theqbicle
at 6:40 PM CST
Updated: Thursday, January 22, 2009 7:29 PM CST
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
THE CHRONICLES OF ARTY BOTCH (Journal Entry Dec 10)
Mood: caffeinatedTopic: Arty Botch Entries
It's been five years since I've visited some place worthwhile on my time off. I moan and drag myself to work each day not clear whether my boss will go for the jugular and finally downsize my job at this point.
P.S. The full head of luscious hair I once owned has undergone a few changes and this sequence of events I follow each day has become more than a little disturbing!
Copyright 2008 The Q-bicle. All rights reserved. www.theqbicle.com
Posted by theqbicle
at 12:43 AM CST
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
THE CHRONICLES OF ARTY BOTCH (Journal Entry Oct 27)
Mood: caffeinatedTopic: Arty Botch Entries
My job has really bugged me for a while. It's something that plagues me each time I get up in the morning. P.S. Don't get me wrong, I need a good paycheck like everyone else!
Copyright 2008 The Q-bicle. All rights reserved. www.theqbicle.com
Posted by theqbicle
at 12:52 AM CDT
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
THE CHRONICLES OF ARTY BOTCH (Journal Entry Aug 27)
Mood: caffeinatedTopic: Arty Botch Entries
Few if any of the menial tasks I'm forced to do for my higher ups ever have a lasting impact. Their bizarre phrasing not to mention unapologetically moody attitude sounds like what it is, a typically inspired mix of missile launching requisites given with bored facial expressions. P.S. It's a nice career!
Copyright 2008 The Q-bicle. All rights reserved. www.theqbicle.com
Posted by theqbicle
at 3:52 PM CDT
Thursday, August 7, 2008
THE CHRONICLES OF ARTY BOTCH (Journal Entry Aug 7)
Mood: caffeinatedTopic: Arty Botch Entries
My coworkers tell me I'm so mindful of everything. I keep track of odd patterns and secret messages in faxes that tour our cubicles each day. But it's only because our work atmosphere is almost military and no one's ever cordial. P.S. Interdepartmental emails are terrifying enough to hurl grenades flying in any direction!
Copyright 2008 The Q-bicle. All rights reserved. www.theqbicle.com
Posted by theqbicle
at 9:01 PM CDT
Updated: Thursday, August 7, 2008 9:55 PM CDT
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
THE CHRONICLES OF ARTY BOTCH (Journal Entry July 15)
Mood: caffeinatedTopic: Arty Botch Entries
For me the Internet is a form of escape from reality. Aside from the occasional violent outburst you find online most of the chat rooms are really good. P.S. It's not lack of motivation on my part, it's just most of the day I find myself bored at work and the Internet plays a vital role in my sanity.
Copyright 2008 The Q-bicle. All rights reserved. www.theqbicle.com
Posted by theqbicle
at 2:12 PM CDT
Thursday, June 19, 2008
THE CHRONICLES OF ARTY BOTCH (Journal Entry June 19)
Mood: caffeinatedTopic: Arty Botch Entries
Paying auto insurance is killing me. Not only is it required, police officers get in our nostrils P.S. The only thing worst than paying auto insurance is what it's going to cost you when you're driving without any!
Copyright 2008 The Q-bicle. All rights reserved. www.theqbicle.com
Posted by theqbicle
at 3:49 PM CDT
Updated: Thursday, June 19, 2008 4:36 PM CDT
Thursday, March 27, 2008
THE CHRONICLES OF ARTY BOTCH (Journal Entry Mar 27)
Mood: caffeinatedTopic: Arty Botch Entries
My commute to work this morning was madness. It always seems as if morning rush hour is a call for motorists everywhere to explore their strange side. P.S. The only way you'll make it off at your exit is if you read the other driver's mood.
Copyright 2008 The Q-bicle. All rights reserved. www.theqbicle.com
Posted by theqbicle
at 11:00 AM CDT
Monday, March 17, 2008
THE CHRONICLES OF ARTY BOTCH (Journal Entry Mar 17)
Mood: caffeinatedTopic: Arty Botch Entries
I often find myself wondering why life seems better on TV. Each day everyone has a fun story to share P.S. The only thing I've been able to burn so far are CD's.
Copyright 2008 The Q-bicle All rights reserved. www.theqbicle.com
Posted by theqbicle
at 9:49 AM CDT
Updated: Monday, March 17, 2008 10:16 AM CDT
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
THE CHRONICLES OF ARTY BOTCH (Journal Entry Mar 5)
Mood: caffeinatedTopic: Arty Botch Entries
It turns out another magic-bean salesman yesterday convinced me to buy a years supply of a bottled water I never heard of P.S. One year supply--yikes! And I wasn't even thirsty.
Copyright 2008 The Q-bicle. All rights reserved.
Posted by theqbicle
at 10:06 AM CST
Thursday, February 7, 2008
THE CHRONICLES OF ARTY BOTCH (Journal Entry Feb 7)
Mood: caffeinatedTopic: Arty Botch Entries
I'll be picking up my paycheck today since we won't be in Friday. I think I'll rent a Hog (Harley) this weekend--I'm in desperate need of confidence. There's no way you'd mistake me for a pansy beating the road in one of these babies. P.S. Yep, just me, my iPhone and iPod in a saddlebag.
Copyright 2008 The Q-bicle. All rights reserved.
Posted by theqbicle
at 6:24 AM CST
Updated: Thursday, February 7, 2008 6:30 AM CST
Monday, January 21, 2008
THE CHRONICLES OF ARTY BOTCH (Journal Entry Jan 21)
Mood: caffeinatedTopic: Arty Botch Entries
I'm probably the most unpopular guy in the world. Over the weekend I couldn't even pay someone to spot me at the gym P.S. Everyone hates my body it's not just me.
Copyright 2008 The Q-bicle. All rights reserved.
Posted by theqbicle
at 5:31 AM CST
Updated: Monday, January 21, 2008 5:31 AM CST
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
THE CHRONICLES OF ARTY BOTCH (Journal Entry Jan 9)
Mood: caffeinatedTopic: Arty Botch Entries
Why do people think I come from another planet. I get repeated reminders that I'm about as exciting as a dandelion in the fall. Everywhere I go my dignity gets ripped right off of me. Yesterday evening I won my first game of 9-ball but it was a total accident. I'm grossly overweight. Just this morning I destroyed another suit while attempting to put it on. Quickly I tried another just to see if I could do it again. P.S. My image consultant said I should visualize myself how I want myself to look. I don't have the imagination for that today.
Copyright 2008 The Q-bicle. All rights reserved.
Posted by theqbicle
at 9:33 AM CST
Updated: Thursday, January 24, 2008 3:38 PM CST
Thursday, January 3, 2008
THE CHRONICLES OF ARTY BOTCH (Journal Entry Jan 3)
Mood: caffeinatedTopic: Arty Botch Entries
My work days are filled with unrest. Thursdays I find myself shifting the week forward in my mind by 1 day--making Thursday Friday just to survive the endless hours I spend at my desk. That's a lie of course, but it helps me get by. People at work tend to treat me as If I'm incredibly stupid, which makes it hard for me to go home feeling good about my day. This makes me spend the rest of my day cruising chat rooms engaging in conversations with complete strangers who are alive and angry and take words said much too seriously. P.S. I know, I know! Chat rooms have sure made our lives easier.
Copyright 2008 The Q-bicle. All rights reserved.
Posted by theqbicle
at 9:28 AM CST
Updated: Thursday, January 3, 2008 9:58 AM CST
Thursday, December 27, 2007
THE CHRONICLES OF ARTY BOTCH (Journal Entry Dec 27)
Mood: caffeinatedTopic: Arty Botch Entries
Life, I can't figure out the point of it all. Each day I walk into work wearing a suit two sizes too small. For eight hours I am prisoner in a hysteria induced atmosphere. The slightest of nods around the coffee machine can mean the buzz around the office is I'm next to be fired. P.S. I'm overworked and under-appreciated.
Copyright 2007 The Q-bicle. All rights reserved.
Posted by theqbicle
at 8:48 AM CST
Updated: Thursday, December 27, 2007 9:03 AM CST
Thursday, December 20, 2007
THE CHRONICLES OF ARTY BOTCH (Journal Entry #7)
Mood: caffeinatedTopic: Arty Botch Entries
The guys around here drink so much coffee it can be used as a substitute for blood. That's nothing compared to the pop machine usage around here. Not that you care. I just thought I'd cut back on caffeine. I'm having a tough time deciding. I'm in need of a burst of energy from a different source. I'm unhappy with soft drinks. It delivers the same rush. You have no idea how many times I've contemplated suicide after a caffeine chug. I couldn't believe it either. I guess I'm just not cut out for caffeine. It makes me more responsive than I want to be. Coffee is more about mood than taste. Makes people self-centered. Everyone I know who drinks coffee cares more about their java craving and less about people. After their third cup they hop around like aliens. Tea drinkers are boring. They'd all purchase disco balls just to be cool. That's how my Mom met Dad. P.S. I hate being around coffee drinkers, their incessant jabber makes you deaf.
Copyright 2007 The Q-bicle. All rights reserved.
Posted by theqbicle
at 8:34 AM CST
Updated: Thursday, December 20, 2007 9:41 AM CST
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
THE CHRONICLES OF ARTY BOTCH (Journal Entry #6)
Mood: caffeinatedTopic: Arty Botch Entries
I left work early yesterday. Didn't feel well. Today I'm back at Corporate America. No longer sick yet still live in constant fear. Least to say, it was a hectic day yesterday. I began this morning by searching for a few interns that were recently hired here. I need to warn them to be on the lookout for Phyllis and Phil who are always out to enslave mankind--up until now I haven't had much luck in locating the survivors. It's Hell Week. Phyllis and Phil repeatedly hire and fire applicants here to feed their increasingly voracious appetite. The more victims they hire, the more they can get inside the heads of their prey. P.S. I have to go, I've already said enough--not use to wagering more than I can afford to lose!
Copyright 2007 The Q-bicle. All rights reserved.
Posted by theqbicle
at 8:05 AM CST
Updated: Wednesday, December 12, 2007 8:27 AM CST
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
THE CHRONICLES OF ARTY BOTCH (Journal Entry #5)
Mood: caffeinatedTopic: Arty Botch Entries
I left the bleakness of my cubicle for a chair at a pub approximately 5:30 p.m yesterday only to return again this morning. If I hadn't gotten a job in Corporate America following college I probably would've been a crossing guard. That career path wouldn't of worked either. I guess no one can see me. I'm use to the pain. Every hot girl I see thinks its rude for me to stare. At bars they always get me to foot their tab while they drink themselves stupid. Whenever they finally let me drive them home they quickly open the passenger side door and roll themselves down the exit ramp. P.S. I'm still learning the ropes of dating--the hard way!
Copyright 2007 The Q-bicle. All rights reserved.
Posted by theqbicle
at 8:09 AM CST
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
THE CHRONICLES OF ARTY BOTCH (Journal Entry #4)
Mood: caffeinatedTopic: Arty Botch Entries
I Arty Botch of sound mind People at work do nothing but bring me down. To be honest, people have been picking on me since the first day at camp. People tend to kick me in the back as if consent is always implied. My whole life everyone's been stepping on me. I feel so burned right now. Everytime I get one of those fat guy jokes it takes three weeks to heal. When you're fat people always notice. In response, our skin tends to become much more porous. On my subway commute to work this morning this guy said he was a magician and wanted to show me, then made off with my wallet. After I learned it was a trick it was too late, he was off the train and we had already pulled off to the next station. The shock of seeing this jolted through my body. Everyone inside the subway car laughed at me which made me all the more uncomfortable. It was like being burned alive from within. I need to find the most painful way to be executed. No way! Forget I said that. I dread fracture noizes. Anything will do right now as long as I don't feel it when the lights go out. I would ask Phil to behead me but deep down I know it wouldnt' be a nice clean break. Death just seems so appropriate right now and there's only one way to get there. P.S. Behold! The world's tiniest man.
Copyright 2007 The Q-bicle. All rights reserved.
Posted by theqbicle
at 7:05 AM CST
Updated: Wednesday, November 28, 2007 11:03 AM CST
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
THE CHRONICLES OF ARTY BOTCH (Journal Entry #3)
Mood: caffeinatedTopic: Arty Botch Entries
I Arty Botch of sound mind Yesterday, I was called to another one of our inter-departmental meetings. Suffice to say, I became very resentful and almost walked off the job for the 83rd time--a record low for a day. We've been without adequate air conditioning and central heating for 3 years. Upper management won't hire a heating and refrigeration expert to fix it. Read more>>
Posted by theqbicle
at 7:16 AM CST
Updated: Wednesday, November 21, 2007 11:10 AM CST
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